Posted by: Emrick | January 9, 2009

How to have great rapport with others

How to have good rapport with people.  It is simple really. Talk to others about their feelings, their interest, their life. Be truly interested in their concern, or problem.  We always have to watch for that double conversation. The one we are having with our conversation partner, and the one we are having with our own, private,  inside the head, conversation partner.  The one who is going,  “Oh my, what a terrible thing to do! Who does he/she think he is to tell others these kinds of things? This one is so obnoxious! What a bad temper!I’d never do that!  This one is so cheap!, etc.”
This kind of private auto-conversation is the number one enemy of having a good rapport with people. We have to be detached from our own biased judgment toward others.
When you get yourself genuinely more interested in others, good surprises may also very likely happen to you . Not only the fact that people will invite you more often, that they will introduce you to their own friends as a new friend,  but they also may do you favors, and help you if you may need some support. Of course the core motive in being authentically interested in others  is for the sake of humanity and good relationships with your friends, and fellow humans.
Try to say nice things to cashiers, tellers, etc.  a smile, a kind word, a compliment, a praise will always be welcome. If a cashier looks stressed or tired, a simple “Take your time, I am not in a hurry” will just do.  Often, these employees don’t get enough praise, may have had some rude customers before, may be pressed and urged by their supervisors, or just plainly don’t like much their job. Let’s try to cheer them up. Ofer them a kind word, make them smile, by being thoughtful and “human.”
A small praise can go a long way. That is how to have great rapport with people.


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